= LifE Of a GaL =

the sianz feeling is here again. HAIZ.... the '2 days left' thingy doesn't work anymore. the sinking feeling rises in my heart once again. 2 DAYS LEFT! the feeling is still there. there i told u it doesn't work anymore. 2 MORE PAPERS! it doesn't work. 1 DAY of exams to END IT ALL! worked a little.

the sec4s go for chalet le. wish them gd luck have fun. though they wun see it, whatever.

looking forward to the trip to NZ? not really. thinking of it just gives me a tired feeling. i can't even be bothered to read the iteinary. (dunno how to spell, not in the mood to spell it rite.) just thinking i am flying off on the 3rd day free from my exams, just doesn't seem to excite me. and knowing that i haven't end exams, and i am flying off this very week just makes my brain and heart confused. i just feel tired.

the idea that my schedule is going to be cramped for the next whole month just makes me feel tired. even though there's no more exams then. the thought that i am abandoning the chance to go the ex 08 chalet cos i got jnco just makes me feel sianz.

haiz. i guess one do feel more emotional during exam period. maybe i will enjoy myself on the NZ trip. maybe i will enjoy myself in jnco (i have a weird sense of what is enjoyment(i dun give a damn whether there's such a word)), and maybe the air of freedom that i inhale after exams is much stronger than what i am expecting now. even after saying all these, i just can't be happy for now. maybe i will be real happy on wed after my papers. and i will be even more happy on thu (i think it's the same cos i dun give a damn about design paper).

let's see if thinking about this will help. on wed after my exams i will play maple story till 1 a.m. then i will sleep till 11, wake up read a little of design. go to school, exam, then perhaps have dinner with new 08. yes! this helps. MAPLE STORY!!!!!!!!!!! does this help? haha. games just cheer me up.

I NEED MOTIVATION! I NEED HAPPINESS! I NEED THE POWER TO STUDY TO COME INTO MY LIFE NOW!

i need the power i experienced on last thursday. i studied my fmath paper 1 in time cos i suddenly love doing math qns tt day. dun ask me why, it just sort of came to me. after i did badly at physics. maybe cos it's pure math, and i love it more than mechanics. but i think there's a certain power helping me, from the lord maybe?

after typing crap, i just feel more happy. i wanna type on and on, but i need to bathe, play a while, settle down and start reading fluid physics. i just love crapping.......